The remembering of 9/11 would have likely been enough to cause some anxiety in me this year. I decided last week to talk to Jackson about 9/11 knowing that he would likely hear things at school. It was an interesting conversation and I think he had some good questions. Although there aren’t many good answers. Coming stateside has brought a great deal of relief from the anxiety of being in countries that don’t love Americans but the thought of Seth being down in the heart of our capital has for sure reignited some fears.   Last week was a big one for the Foreign Service family. Like any family it has it’s quirkiness but again like any family tragedy brings us together and makes us all analyze the parts we play in the family story. I vividly remember the warnings in Bogota, the blockbuster blowing up down the road from us, kidnapping threats and paying for my maid to take a taxi the 30 plus miles home one afternoon when there were 7 bus bombs going off throughout our city. In general we were very safe, but often there were risks. Our time in Switzerland felt safe but it still wasn’t home.  And now, when I expected to feel much safer being home I am aware that Seth is often at risk even stateside.

Last week I found myself fearful as we watched the news and we made contact with multiple friends around the world. Some evacuating, some staying put during scary times and others like us in “safe” places looking on and hoping for peace around the world. Losing an Ambassador and other fellow diplomats is a sad thing for our community.  Schools burning, walls being jumped and just general hatred is unsettling.

And no matter how much anxiety I feel or how much sleep I lose ultimately I know that God is in control.  And as my grandmother wrote in an email recently “I am sure that any place we are in God’s will we are safe. Just don’t always know what ‘safe’ means to God!“. I agree. My idea of safe may be far from where God wants me.

This week I am trying to walk by faith knowing that we can control very little. I will make every effort to live a healthy, productive, influential life that is hopefully a blessing to others, but I have no control over my days. Only God knows the hours and moments that remain.  My prayer is for peace and safety for friends and family worldwide, and for our little family here.

On a completely different note we had a really fun weekend with family and friends here in VA. I will try to hop on here later to share some pictures of our day at the fair on Saturday!