As we walked up the hill to catch our tram into downtown he sang loudly as he marched onward. I was conscious that Jackson’s exuberance was screeching into the silence and peace of our new neighborhood. We had only been in Switzerland a couple of weeks and I was already keenly aware of how quiet the people were here, including the small children. As we walked I asked Jackson what song he was singing; his reply was “what song, mom?” It seems he goes through life with a soundtrack playing. It brings so much joy to our family, and I have to admit, at times it sends me running for Tylenol with a pounding headache many a day around 4 pm.

My goal from the beginning of each move has been to learn to appreciate our new home while still maintaining some of who we are and where we are from. I remember clearly in those first months how my blood pressure would rise each time we left the house knowing that Jackson would push the social norms and likely offend someone. I would prep him before getting on each tram or train and pray that he would get lost in people watching and not be quite so noisy. But then one day it hit me, I was stressing in an effort to fit in, and the result was stifling to my son’s personality.  I wanted him to respect the social climate but what I was doing was allowing my insecurity to pressure me into thinking that he had to be seen and not heard. But the truth is that being sensitive didn’t mean being silent.

So for the last ten months we have worked and worked to teach our little ones “tram rules” and “noise laws.” If it is late afternoon and we are playing outside for goodness sake I allow him to use his outside voice. With the occasional, “Let’s make sure the whole neighborhood can’t hear us.” But if we are taking an early morning walk, especially on Sundays, we try to explain the need for our neighbors to have some quiet rest. This is no task for the weak-willed. We still have days when my blood pressure boils and it is nothing short of a miracle that we don’t get asked to step off the tram. But mostly the boys feel the “climate change” as we enter the tram and know to knock it down a few notches.  They can point out the window and talk to us but their voices can’t be so loud that everyone can hear.

When it comes to teaching cultural sensitivity I often feel as if I am working for something unattainable. But as motherhood would have it, I was completely surprised and encouraged last week.  We got on the tram on Friday evening after a casual dinner out with the boys. They were WILD, as in Owen screaming to see the fish tank, eating not a bite and Jackson wishing oh so hard that I would suddenly think it was okay to get up and down from his chair to walk around the food court while we ate. With dinner done we hopped on our tram and the boys settled in. They sat quietly next to us and looked out the window. Two rows in front of us a toddler popped her head up above her seat and shot Jackson a vibrant, mischievous look. She proceeded to get into a standing position, shrieking and growling to get the boys to laugh and enter in. While Jackson smiled and laughed a bit he stayed in his seat and did not get up like he would have in the past. Looking around you could see people becoming visibly uncomfortable with noise level and interaction. The excitement in this little girl got so rowdy that the lady sitting in the row between us turned to look at us to see what on earth we were doing to cause such commotion. Jackson and I just smiled politely at her. When the little girl and her mom reached their stop she continued with the show and began loudly yelling “goodbye” to the boys in Swiss German.  Our boys paused and then looked to us to see if it was okay to holler goodbye. We encouraged them to say goodbye and they both with all friendliness and nearing outside voice levels said goodbye to the girl.

Sure there are days when excitement cannot be contained and the volume knob is not reachable. And on those days I remind myself that these boys are not by nature quiet. SO we roll with it. But there are also days where I see new maturity that allows the rambunctious to sit and take in the world we currently live in, which happens to be a quiet, reserved place.