A few Sundays ago our pastor preached on this passage, Romans 12:15.

I think before hearing this message I would have said I knew what he was talking about. I hate it when others are in pain or are struggling.  I drive myself (and likely the recipients) completely crazy trying to figure out how to carry other people’s burdens when at times it just isn’t possible. I have cried with many a friend and have rejoiced with many as well.

The news of my dear friend Bonnie passing her PA exam, the news of my little brother getting engaged, the news that my big brother was expecting his first baby girl.. and then a couple yrs later his second, the news that Jackson was cancer-free,  the news that after 18 weeks of pregnancy the doctor thought Owen was going to make it…those things have brought me great joy and have brought about rejoicing! I continue to thank God for those things and so many more! But then there is the weeping. In the last 24 hours I have learned of a girl my age who is on her death bed with cervical cancer (close the leaving her 3 yr, 5 yr old and husband behind), a marriage in distress, the death of a friends dear friend in the terrorist attack in Uganda. My heart grieves. Try as I may to step back and focus on our move and what is going on in our lives my heart remains heavy and prayerful. Lord, I can’t remove any of this. It is all so painful. Use me despite myself.

As I mature I realize that this verse is so true.  This is what I am called to. God doesn’t ask me to make everyone happy and solve all of their problems. I am to rejoice with those who rejoice and I am to weep with those who weep.

My prayer is that God would use me.  That he would give me a heart that can genuinely rejoice for others, even when I would love to be in their situation and that he would give me the energy and sensitivity to weep with others even at times when I have not experienced what they are going through.  As I get older I am learning that it isn’t about being excited or crying, it is about walking with Christ and allowing him to use us beyond ourselves. I think I hoped the bubble of youth would last a little longer. The growing pains are, well, quite painful.

For those of you that are friends of ours on facebook your newsfeed has likely reflected this time of uncertainty in the Kolb house.  A couple of weeks ago I commented on “Two weeks until Texas”, Seth wrote something like “only a few days of German”. Our world that always seemed pretty uncertain is most certainly uncertain these days.

When we arrived in October Seth was going to be here until the end of June. Then post requested that he arrive early and attempted to get him a language waiver to come in the end of May. When the waiver didn’t come through we weren’t disappointed because we were settled in here and enjoying every minute of it!

In early June Seth took a progress test that determined that he would need a little bit longer of german, thus an extension was filed. It’s a little bit tricky because the German dept is anxious to have a longer program but has not formally extended their program but rather has spent the last year extending most all of their students. Little do they realize that families are spinning with all of the changes. So, we embraced the extension, again thrilled for more time near our family and friends.

Last week Seth geared up for what was to be his final exam in German. He went in confident and prepared. He aced the speaking portion and was presented with a set of articles. He aced those as well. Because he did so well they advanced him to an even higher level article. The article was an obscure topic and more challenging that expected. A teacher explained to Seth that had he not done well on the first 4 he would have been bumped down to the easier level and could have achieved his score of 3 that he needed.   Instead he got a 3/2+….3 in speaking, 2+ in reading.  Had he had another article he would have had a chance of a 3.  I was bustling around prepping for the packers and keeping the kids in their routine when I got a call from him saying that he hadn’t passed.

So we went from half-packed and a couple of days before the packers arrived to canceling the packers and making a million phone calls to “uncancel” all of our services. Months of preparation went in to our original dates……..and now we wait in limbo.

The Embassy in Switzerland has initiated another waiver. This time one that appears to be going through. Without the waiver Seth tentatively will test on July 22nd. We have a packout scheduled for the 19th and 20th. I will do it while Seth is in German to save him 2 days of lost time in Bern now that we are going to be “late”. With the waiver we could have to pick up and go pretty quickly, except for the fact that the transportation department is telling us that a packout would be impossible on such short notice. Whew.  So while Seth plugs away at German, I am trying to decide what to do next. I am working on scheduling an additional “backup” packout date just in case things change again. And I am continuing to try to maintain some normalcy for the boys.

After 6 months of looking and waiting for a house to be available in Bern we have one waiting. Our biggest concern when the test didn’t go as expected was our housing here and our housing there. Our landlord here graciously allowed us to extend our lease through July. In Bern the house will be able to be held up to 2 weeks after our original arrival date.  I got notice yesterday that the painting is finished and the new floors (where needed) are being put in next week. The Embassy official has held off in sharing our new timeline because she feels like it will just cause undo stress if they know of the uncertainty- ie she probably fears they would find a new renter!

We still hope to see family in Texas on our way out of the country. Seth just finished canceling all of our tickets for tomorrow.  We will wait to see what happens with the waiver and timing to know what happens next. Jackson and I in particular have been super excited and talking about our trip to see family for months now. I hope that it can still happen but I am trying to let go knowing that there is very little we can do right now to make things happen.

I laugh now thinking that I was stressed a couple of weeks ago for our anticipated, planned move.  I never anticipated all of it being turned upside down and unknown. Each day we get a tidbit of information and have no idea when all of those tidbits will fit into something that looks like a plan. I find myself feeling like we are neither here nor there. We realize that our family and friends didn’t plan on us being around so they have there own things going on. It’s hard to plug in when we hate for everyone else to have to experience our rollercoaster.

So, we wait. We will keep you all posted!

Before setting sail we wanted to celebrate Jackson’s 3rd birthday while we were still here with friends and family. Last weekend we had a big gang of Jackson’s cousins and friends over for an airplane themed party. The kids decorated postcards for Jackson to send them from Switzerland and painted little wooden airplanes. We had lots of great food and the kids had a blast.

For lunch the kids had Chickfila nuggets (the birthday boys favorite) and homemade macaroni and cheese. For the adults we had a spread of sandwiches, mini tomato pies, salad, etc. The best recipe to come out of the party was Barefoot Contessa’s mac and cheese. I couldn’t try it but everyone asked for the recipe and said it was delicious! The adults ate more of it than the kids! The best part was that I reheated it the next day for Seth and it was good again! I feel like macaroni and cheese rarely reheats  well!

I had a couple of cake disasters- one from my oven rack being crooked, the other from misusing some metalic baking strips…in the end I threw my arms up in surrender, admitted that I was trying to do too much a week before our move and made some cupcakes.  Jackson didn’t know anything had gone wrong!

I got some candy molds and made airplane chalk for the kids favors but unfortunately the wings were too thin and most broke on their way out of the mold, so I ended up using muffin tins and making little chalk rounds to pass out.

homemade artisan bread…ready for sandwiches

Owen and Rowyn

This year for Mother’s Day Seth decided to try his hand at fondue. He had gotten us a fondue pot for our Anniversary back in December and we just hadn’t found the time to use it yet. He made Emmeril’s Asian  pork loin fondue which was very yummy. He and the boys got me the Farmer’s Market cookbook that I referred to in the “Spring things” post. I am really enjoying it! Lot’s of the recipes are on hold until I can add dairy back in, but everything looks amazing! It will come in handy in Bern where I am hoping the Farmer’s market is a bit cheaper than the stores!

For Father’s day Seth requested fajitas. As Jackson told the lady in the grocery store “my daddy said he wanted fajitas and we said “YES!”. The boys gave Seth a canoeing  trip on the Potomac. We had a big lunch after church and then after naps we all went to Gravely point which is the park next to Reagan airport. You can watch the planes come and go! It was so much fun.

We are so thankful for our boys!