Owen is the family comedian and chimes in often with his quick wit! He has a fierce temper but is the first to apologize and offer affection. He is growing up! We often find ourselves laughing at his funny sayings. Here are a few from the past couple of weeks. try correcting this one on the “right word”…he’s already written his own dictionary on these.
chicken pox=chicken nuggets
glitter=litter
diary of a wumpy kid=wimpy kid
a couple of weeks ago I choked during lunch. I don’t know that this has ever happened to me but it was very scary! Seth was teleworking that day. I panicked and ran into the kitchen to “catch my breath” and not panic Owen but realized quickly that it wasn’t improving and I needed help. I motioned for Seth to do the Heimlich. By the time he ran around the table I was able to gasp and slowly recover. VERY SCARY! As I recovered and caught my breath Owen said “WHOA! I did not see that coming!” Comic relief, that boy!
tatoo-this comes out with more of a British accent “tawtoo”
privacies=private parts
pork=we learned recently that Owen thought we were serving porcupine every time we had pork.
The sound track to Jackson’s life plays continuously! I can remember when he was 3 1/2 walking up our hill in Switzerland asking him what he was singing. He hadn’t even been aware that he was. That’s how is is these days too!
We are venturing into the world of the school online library and it is interesting to see his brain absorb all of these new things! He continues to love studying history and science. I am humbled by how much I forget of what I learned in school. The other day he asked me a tough math question. I told him he should save that one for dad and he said “mom, did you go to school too or just dad?” Ouch.
Jackson has been on a mission this year to dis-spell the bullying that goes on at school and is passionate about helping others. He was delighted to go to a food packaging activity at our church recently with Seth. They packed thousands of meal boxes for people in the Philippines. On their way into church Jackson whispered that he was a little concerned because it sounded like they were going to pack food for the Philistines! He is working on his philanthropic heart at home…that arena is harder!
Jackson and Owen continue to build there brotherly bond through great big, loud fights, and simple invitations to make up and play again. They play hard and fight hard if that makes sense. They are working on their friendship and as ailing as the referring is it is nice to see those moments of sweet friendship. Discipline one and the other is the first to come to the rescue! The picture below sums it up pretty well. The big scratch on Jackson’s face was from his warrior brother Owen in a fight. And yet, they are inseparable!
It’s a rainy, dreary day here. The house is perfectly quiet except for the hum of the computer. Not even the washing machine is buzzing this morning. The boys are off to school after a wet drop off and I am sitting down to catch up here a bit! Owen is one month into preschool and LOVING it! He has gone to bible study with me as well as Sunday School, etc. so we weren’t worried but there is definitely a whole different rhythm to school! So far he bounds out of the car and is eager to get into school. He chatters the whole way home and spares no detail. He is learning new things so quickly I feel a bit guilty for not having tried to teach him more sooner. This week he asked me to teach him to write his name…and he did. Jackson just had such different interests at this age.
According to his teachers Owen has made some little buddies, one in particular that we hear about often. His name is Noah and his family happens to live in our neighborhood. We met them at a neighborhood picnic last week and learned that the boys were born on the same day, just after the huge Snowmagedon storm. And when put together these boys certainly act like they are two peas in a pod (or maybe two monkeys in a tree…peas in a pod sounds way too passive). As we drove away from the picnic I told the boys that we always pray for them when they start school that God would give them a special friend and it has been so apparent with both of them that friends were picked especially for them!
Owen’s class is the caterpillar class and they recently learned a song about The Fuzzy Caterpillar…he’s a little goofy in front of the camera but you get the idea.
The best news is school wipes him out! He is ready after his busy morning to settle into a great nap most days!
Owen is looking so big these days and very eager to become a big brother. He is my sidekick on non-school days so I imagine it will be an interesting adjustment for all. He and Jackson are enjoying play time together and while the battles are intense the times of peaceful playing are nice to observe! I can’t wait to see the dynamics when sister comes.
Over the past months Seth and I have been working on helping Jackson and Owen to build strong family relationships and attempting to balance normal sibling rivalry with things we need to address. As parents sometimes it feels hard to know when to step back and when to jump in. I don’t think our boys are facing anything unusual but it can make our house less than peaceful and tests my patience!
As I have had coffee dates or visits with other friends I often ask what things they have done to bring their kids together and create positive sibling relationships. My brothers and I went to boarding school for two years at a very young age (first grade, 5th grade and 8th grade) and I think it was a time that was critical for siblings to be at home, learning how to relate and be connected. It isn’t that we don’t have relationships with one another it’s that at a young age we were sort of obligated to look out for each other in different ways and carry different stresses. We didn’t have a lot of normal down time together for trial and error and vulnerability in the relationship if that makes sense. So although my kids won’t be going to boarding school, I want to use these young years to foster deeper relationships and allow them to learn to encourage one another and see each others strengths and weaknesses.
While I was in Kentucky this past weekend I tried to soak up each and every bit of wisdom my friend Annie has gained in parenting. She and her husband Sean have done a great job of raising confident kids and amazingly, kids that consider each other friends even in these teenage years. Not to say they don’t have their porcupine moments like all kids but they enjoy each others company and work through conflict together. I know Annie would attest to many hard days and many days where they would not say they are friends but they have been growing up and changing and there is evidence in their friendship.
When I asked Annie about things she does to bring the kids together these are a few of the things that came up…
Put out a game that is ongoing, that everyone can contribute to.
During the busy holiday season or kids sports seasons Annie pulls out the scrabble board and has it on the coffee table that is next to the kitchen. The kids may be in and out but everyone sits down now and then to add a word.
Celebrate the small victories in the day to day
You know the things like the A+ on the math test, the green light for behavior, or being extra helpful around the house. I have heard of having a birthday plate but not a plate to use spontaneously when there are extra things to celebrate. Annie told me about the red plate that comes out as needed. I had an extra plate in my goodwill pile that I had not been able to justify a use for. It was one I painted years ago at a pottery shop and as much as I didn’t want to toss it, I didn’t have a good reason to store it. When I got home from KY I went to the garage and scrounged up the festive plate from the giveaway pile. Jackson’s class started a new behavior plan and he came home with a green light. He was pleasantly surprised at dinner by a colorful new plate. I explained to the boys that we would be pulling it out on special occasions when we wanted them to know how special they are and that they had accomplished something special. I think it will also help them learn to encourage each other and celebrate each others victories. Don’t get tempted to go out and buy a special plate for each kid. It is okay for the kids to celebrate each other. If you have a child that isn’t coming home with the A+ or the most goals, that is just fine! That isn’t the point. This will give you some push to look for the things to celebrate in your child. It might be that you noticed they handled a tough situation well, or had self control, or was thoughtful to hold the door open for someone. Get creative.
our plate is ready to go!
Be comfortable saying “no” to extra activities and do something as a family.
It’s not fun to be the bad guy but sometimes it is so important to say no in order to stay connected. The opportunities for our kids these days are endless. I feel awkward at times turning down play dates for Jackson and Owen and I know it’s even worse saying no to teenagers! But it’s critical. If we all took every opportunity we would have no time left for our families. These are the years to build good strong sibling relationships! Get them into the kitchen or kidnap them for a mini date to get an ice cream cone or go on a hike. So many people emphasize the one on one stuff but it’s important to put effort into the group times, besides just living together. Push through the grumbling, rolling eyes and “I don’t like doing that”. (if I had a dollar for every time Jackson told me he didn’t like my suggestion and then turned around and loved it, I would be rich!)
Make family dinner a priority. As much as possible! …and get a piggy!
I spotted this little pig next to Annie’s stove and had to know the story behind the little guy…he used to reside on the table and if one of the kids had terrible manners during a meal the pig was moved to sit next to their plate. That meant they had to help with the dishes, clean up, etc. My kids are too little at this point to totally get it and truth is they would probably use bad manners to earn the pig rather than desire to avoid it. But I am on the hunt for a piggy and think it’s a fun way to show natural consequences and the need for good manners!
Work towards a family goal together…
My friend Margaret and I were talking a couple of months ago about helping our kids work through the fighting and sibling rivalry stuff. She had a great idea that she uses with her kids and shared with me! When she sees her kids displaying the qualities like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control (ie the fruit of the spirit) they earn a marble that goes in a jar. They work as a family to fill the jar, and when the jar is full they pick an activity to do together as a family…movie night, s’mores over the fire, or an outing of some kind. We started our jar that week of our chat and I have to be honest it has taken us a looooong time to fill our little jar. But the marble earning is becoming more and more frequent and I am seeing heart changes. It takes my focus off of picking at the bad habits and puts the focus on me finding the good. No longer are the boys faking nice and requesting a marble, more often than not I am catching them in the act of genuinely being kind or patient or ahem, holding back from punching his brother (not that that EVER happens at our home). We are a few marbles away from a special activity and the boys are so into it!
Take your child on a date to buy something special for their sibling.
A couple of weeks ago I needed to get a hostess gift and Jackson drew the short straw that Sat and had to run errands with me. As we walked through Hallmark he perked up looking through cards and wanted to buy this one and that one. I asked if he would like to pick one for Owen. I wasn’t planning on it but it seemed like a nice way to encourage their relationship. I expected Jackson to say “no, I want to get one for _______”. Surprisingly he was so excited to pick one out for Owen. He looked around for a card with a dog on it because he knows Owen likes dogs. He held the card tightly as we walked to pay for it and made sure to keep it concealed until Owen was out of the room. Jackson sat a drew a picture for Owen and wrote a message to him. Then he decided to hide it on Owen’s pillow and drew him a map to lead him to it. So sweet. When Owen came home he was delighted to see what Jackson had done. Owen felt special. Jackson was so proud. Win win. I had seen a glimpse of this when Jackson took money to school for secret Santa shopping. He could hardly contain his excitement and struggled to keep the gifts a secret. He knew he had picked just what we all would love. Could be picking a card but it could also be a candy bar, a flower from the yard, could be picking a picture of them off the computer to print and make a little sign for them. Be creative, or rather let them be creative.
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These are just a few ideas I have gathered from friends and my own experiences! They are pushing me away from the behavior charts and keeping score! (Not that there won’t be a time again for the charts but for now this is where we are at). None of them involve failure if we don’t do it every day which is huge in this stage of life! It’s important to be consistent but sometimes I find myself feeling like I can’t keep up with the daily stuff…and I know my kids notice when I miss a day! I hope you will find these to be encouraging for your families! Don’t try to implement them all at once and tweak them to meet your family needs and ages of your kids. Slide a colorful thrift store plate into your plate stack as a reminder, take a family outing to Michael’s for your little ones to pick our a jar and bag of marbles….do little things along the way to build relationship and camaraderie.
Is it really Friday already?! The days sure feel long at times but the weeks are flying by!! We have a packed weekend but today I have the entire day to conquer the house and get us all set for the busy! And just a slight distraction, I am going to have Owen’s first day of underoos!! Let the potty training fun begin! I seriously got tempted this time around to just let him potty train himself someday when he cares. But that didn’t seem so socially acceptable. My second thought was to wait until winter and pray that we get snowed in like we did when Jackson potty-trained. We were in the house for 6 days straight during Snowmageden and voila, he was good to go! But being snowed in is so inconvenient so I will move forward and take care of this beast without complaining. Speaking of complaining…I was reading Little House on the Prairie last night with Jackson (no it’s not a girls only book) and there is a part where Laura is upset that they can’t camp yet. Oh, heck, let me just share this passage with you.
Then Ma said, “Laura”. That was all, but it meant that Laura must not complain. So she did not complain any more outloud, but she was still naughty, inside. She sat and thought complaints to herself. ” Little House on the Prairie pg 15
Oh My! My kids have not learned the art of the internal complaint, I am pretty sure I hear them all audibly. So I might be good about not complaining to you all throughout the potty-training process but I might complain to myself! And I will for sure complain to Seth out loud!
Back to savoring home…
Well, the boys get the prize. Their rooms are certainly the most fun! Like the other rooms in the house they are primarily thrifted or gifted things throughout. When we moved in I spent the first few days putting the boys rooms together. I felt like it was really important for them to have the security of their own space with their own things after a ton of travel and uncertainty. It’s always been my goal for my kids rooms to have pictures of the people that love them, pictures of them as babies (so I can pretend they are still that little) and then I want them to be able to grow into their spaces (which just means there isn’t really a theme or age specific thing necessarily, just boy stuff.)
Owen’s room
Each room is currently sporting paper blinds! Owen utilizes his the most..can’t you tell?!
I pinned book shelves like these a year ago on Pintrest and had all but given up on doing them. Somehow my trips to Lowe’s with the boys to look for gutters to cut just got the best of me. I went to a little flea market with my friend Bonnie a month ago and happened upon these curio shelves for $1 each, with the drill holes already in them. Saved our marriage! I love the shelves that Leigh’s dad built but I knew we couldn’t pull them off and Owen’s space is pretty limited on that wall. so when I found these 3 shelves that fit perfectly in his space I knew it was a flea market miracle!
Owen’s quilt makes me smile. My friend Nina sewed it for him and it matches Jackson’s cowboy fabrics (just in case they share a room in the future). Reminds me of Nina every time I hop on Owen’s bed to read with him! If we are lucky Nina will share her sewing room in Poland with us!! Crackers the puppy and Owen’s bunny from Annie O guard the bed.
this is a significant decoration in Owen’s room. This clock is mom’s best friend!
if Owen’s room looks too clean it’s because we have actually limited his room to just books and a few toys that are tucked away. His little early bird self was pulling out the toys at 5 AM or earlier so we just keep it clear.
Owen’s room is painted in Sanctuary (I think it’s a Behr color from home depot…maybe a Martha Stewart from home depot) but it is a little darker than I had planned but still nice.
Jackson’s room
Jackson’s room is probably the most fun….he has the most unnecessary decoration in the house which is a real saddle (a garage sale find that made my husband wonder if I had lost my mind). I said I don’t go with themes but Jackson’s room is kind of a cowboy room. Every kid that steps into our home hops on to that saddle and loves it. Jackson’s room was originally a study so it has lots of built in shelving! I have tried to make a shelf for each place he has lived and then mix in things he likes, his artwork, etc. He has a few shelves that I “let” him do. Most of them are still a work in progress. The red armoire is the one we found on the side of the road in Switzerland and finished with maps on the inside. And that Saturday Post print could not be more like Jackson!
Aunt Sue, can you see the calf on the shelf by his bed?! That is a mainstay, in every suitcase and on every trip!
Jackson’s room is painted Teatime by Behr at Home Depot, it too is a bit darker than I should have done for the room size but it is cozy. We call it peanut butter color!
I am definitely savoring the little boyness that is going on these days and I love that their rooms reflect that. I feel like the days are flying by right now and I just want to enjoy them while they are little. Just not savoring the potty-training. Ok, I complained to you. To my credit, his first pair of undies this morning lasted less than 5 mins. Less than 5 mins.
