So this isn’t officially a Foreign Service blog. We happen to be an FS family so this blog includes lots about our life as such but it isn’t meant to be “for the Foreign Service”. But lately I have been getting comments from other FS wives. I appreciate you all checking in. I am not sure how we got on the list of blogs and it makes me nervous but I am excited to likewise find other blogs and share in that community. We share a crazy lifestyle. I want to take advantage of your experiences and ask a few questions that have been nagging me. This is the one that gets me the most lately….

How is your lifestyle in the FS affecting your children…don’t give me the “kids are so resilient” stuff, tell me what the joys have been for your kids and where the challenges have been. Our 3 1/2 yr old has struggled with this particular move more than I anticipated and it has my wheels turning.

If you are comfortable, please share!!!  I would love to glean a little wisdom on this parenting abroad business!

I hate change. Like hate it. I like plans and I like predictability. (Insert laugh out loud here that I find myself yet again far from home). But it goes deeper than not just enjoying frequent changes in address. I like being able to count on people to be who I think they are. More than counting on other people to be who I expect, I like to recognize myself! Over the past few months I have found myself just not feeling quite like myself.  It’s been more than humbling.

There are times in my life I look back on fondly and I can wish that people and things are like they were. But they aren’t. and thank goodness. I am positive Seth doesn’t want me to live as someone stuck in the past. He wants me to be here and in the now.  My kids deserve my affection and attention and shouldn’t have to beg for it when I am distracted by life. Change is hard but I know we are better for it.

A couple of yrs ago we experienced a curve ball in life that we weren’t expecting. As jolting and trying it was and continues to be, I have to take times periodically to step back and watch the changes that have come and the growth that has taken place. I can’t deny God’s hand in our lives and in the lives of others around us. For a while I tried to ride on the wave of blaming others for my feelings and for distance. I am SLOWLY realizing that it isn’t worth sacrificing my own joy to wallow in what I deserve or how things may have turned out prettier.  A friend recently tried on clothes with some girl friends and after trying numerous things her friend said “well, it is what it is”. I have used that quote in my own head alot lately. It’s so true. It is what it is. It isn’t “when I am skinnier”, “when it is sunnier”, “when they are happier and healthier”, “when so and so does____”. It is what it is. And I want to cash in on life. I can hold on to memories or I can embrace change.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in

by Leonard Cohen

I may have posted the above before..I liked it so much when I saw it it is very possible I have used it. But it is appropriate here. I try so hard for perfect offerings and I often expect perfect offerings from those I love. I want things to be pretty and want to fix every crack. Thank goodness we are cracked because I sure do love the light. I am positive a few cracks have been added to my self over the past yrs, but I am also positive that I am experiencing more light than I did before. Look in the mirror and see what cracks you have. They may be prettier than you thought. Or they may need to crack a bit more to allow a little more light in.

One of our most favorite types of food is Tex Mex. It’s probably good we have no access to those endless chip bowls and bubbly queso dip..but every once in a while we just NEED it. I have been on the hunt for some healthy recipes that remind us of back home. I have been googling knockoffs for some time now. The most recent find was a Chipotle knock off for barbacoa beef. I did it in the slow cooker and served it with cilantro rice and lots of fresh toppings. I had always wondered what people used the chipotle peppers in adobo sauce for. This recipe was a way to try them out!   They smell, smokey and warm but are super spicy! I made the mistake of sneaking a little of the sauce after smelling it just to gauge how spicy I wanted out meet. Wowser! It’s hot. Both times I have made this recipe I have made it with less peppers.  The meat never came out too spicy…in fact Seth had to stop the boys from eating it all one evening!

Gina’s Weight Watchers blog is one I have been finding some good finds on lately, including this barbacoa recipe.

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2010/04/barbacoa-beef.html

I followed her recipe mostly…I used less peppers, added a little beef broth (because I cooked mine on low all day in the slow cooker and I didn’t want it to dry out, and I used the whole roast without cutting it up so I could cook it longer and not have to check it through the day).

When I looked up the beef to add to this post I saw she has a slow-cooked pork as well. We will be trying this soon!

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/01/slow-cooked-sweet-barbacoa-pork.html

Don’t be scared away by the Weight Watchers name. I personally avoid all things Weight Watchers because I know my personality enough to know that if I ever attempted it I would become OCD about the points system. That’s another story altogether but anyhow, I like her recipes because they are lots of fresh, simple recipes. If she calls for reduced fat stuff we normally use regular because Switzerland isn’t on the low fat, fat free craze that the US is on. I prefer the real stuff in moderation than the chemically stuff. But that is just me.

Pappasito’s with the Seckinger clan before coming to Bern.

I think Seth would be lying if he tried to say it’s only worth it to fly home for family. I am pretty sure if I talked enough about tex mex over the next couple of days he would book us tickets home. But that would be super manipulative so I will continue to try my knock off recipes and save the money on flights home.

It’s funny, I don’t think of myself as being a good cook but lately people have been asking for recipes. I am always embarrassed because all of my recipes are from my mom or friends. It’s not like I do anything original. I love to try new recipes and mess up a lot. Early in our marriage I was scared to try too many things because I wanted Seth to enjoy what I made and I hated failing. I still want him to enjoy the food I serve him but now I am more bold and even if the recipe contains mushrooms or beans I give it a go and tell Seth just to pick around! I vow to try at least one recipe from each magazine I get. And typically try one new recipe a week. Since coming to Bern I am getting Southern Living. It’s not tough to find something that looks amazing and is super easy to make. I cook because I enjoy it and I have been realizing lately that I cook because it connects me to my mom.

I hate being far from home. All through high school I would sit at the kitchen bar and “do homework”, ie chat with my mom and watch her cook. It was our time together. I learned so much just through watching her work. She was budget conscious but it was a huge priority for her to make fresh, delicious meals.  No matter how long she had worked that day she whipped up yummy things! So I think I am realizing that when I cook I feel connected to my mom. Even if she is in a different time zone and I sure wish I was watching her cook, somehow being in the kitchen helps stave off some of my homesickness.  Calling home with questions about recipes always gives me an excuse to call and chat so that helps too!  (on a side note, if I had a million dollars I would want to have a little restaurant with my mom..or a B&B)

My favorite recipes are the ones I have from my mom. My wedding gift from her was a book of her handwritten recipes. The book got lost in a box we mailed and she spent hours rewriting the recipes into a new book for me last Christmas. She is great at picking recipes and great at knowing what goes with what. She is a true foodie. You would think she would be obese by now with all of her great cooking and love for food but nope, she’s petite and has the best self control of anyone I know. If she makes a chocolate cake and has a piece, she’s done. She’s not the leave a fork on the cake plate just to make the next walk-by cake bite more convenient. Or if she was she was really good at hiding the fork and the bites.  I am the fork on the cake plate kind of girl. Wish I wasn’t but I am.

I have been trying lots of new recipes lately. Since coming to Bern I have had lots of time to focus on settling in and that has included lots of cooking. I love that I can be in the mood to try something, google it, and come up with a zillion choices to pick and choose from. And I am gradually getting more comfortable being more creative and doing things my own way.

On Sunday we had some leftover brisket in the fridge. I wasn’t in the mood to make sides and whip up a whole meal. So, we made a BBQ brisket pizza. It was delicious. We spread BBQ sauce on instead of pizza sauce. Layered it with brisket, onions, red bell peppers and cheese. It was delicious! Wait, I already said that. It was nothing you haven’t seen before but nothing I had done at home. Nice to try new things.

Other new things on our list last week were Southern Living’s Stovetop Potpie (We skipped the biscuits and the fattening crust!) and crock pot barbacoa beef (chipotle knockoff) that we used for burrito bowls. Both were a hit. In fact the pot pie called for wine and I normally shy away from things I think my kids won’t like. But Owen, who is my ornery eater, scarfed it down like he has been waiting for a splash of white wine to brighten up all of his meals.   We have also been having lots of salads for dinner to balance out all of the fudge and treats we had with Seth’s parents.  I am always on the lookout for a salad that is healthy but has enough pizazz to make it feel like a dinner not a diet meal.

Tonight is going to be stuffed green peppers. They weren’t Seth’s favorite when I made them like 5 yrs ago but he said he would give them a try again!

I wonder what my mom is cooking tonight.