We have joked about someday having a guest home or B&B. Since being in Switzerland we have had lots of practice! Last weekend we had the calendar booked for Bo and Leigh and Katy Jo to come spend the weekend to kick off their Spring break. A couple of days before, Leigh called and asked if their friends the Higg’s could come along! Why of course! The more the merrier. The Higg’s family also work at Black Forest Academy and have 2 little boys.  And more importantly, they are also from Texas!

The gang arrived Friday night and we all had a fun evening grilling and making homemade ice cream. The kids played until they all crashed.  The next morning when we were all up and ready we headed to Neuchatel. It is a beautiful town in the French part of Switzerland. We originally went because we had heard there was a big brocante/antique sale. When we got there and realized you had to pay to even get in we decided to just enjoy the gorgeous city. We browsed the Saturday market and let the kids have some run time in and around the daffodils. Our other motive for going to Neuchatel was that they have Domino’s. We can’t get an American pizza here so it was a big treat. We picnicked by the lake and had a hard time leaving because it was so beautiful.  We came back home for another evening of grilling and chilling. We had dinner after the kids went to bed which was a big treat.

Owen teasing KJ with flowers

Seth, excited for Domino’s!

Sunday morning, Stefanie and Alex made us a delicious omelet breakfast. After breakfast we went down for some river time. The little boys young and old enjoyed skipping rocks. After some fun play time Bo and Leigh had prepared a big picnic spread.  I don’t know if any of us could even fit a picnic after all of our eating throughout the weekend but who could resist?!

Owen, learning to skip rocks

after skipping a few rocks Jackson decided he needed to rest….I guess he missed that nap from the day before.

Jackson’s friend Ella from school and her family ended up picnicking next to us!

The weather for the weekend and the views of the mountains could not have been more beautiful.  With 11 people in the house, including 5 kiddos, you would expect chaos. But the kids played really well and Jackson loved having a live-in buddy.   And I think all of the adults really enjoyed themselves too! It was a nice break from normal routine. We all enjoyed watching each others children and knowing that we are all in the same boat…the same crazy, rocking, kid boat.

Someone please check on me in August after Leigh has moved back to the US. We are savoring every minute!!! Switzerland is much more beautiful with my best friend close by! We have met lots of great people but you all know how it is, there is something so nice and comforting about having someone from home.

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this morning. Yesterday a co-worker of my mom’s took his life. In the past year he had lost multiple family members of his own and was fighting his own battle with aggressive Parkinson’s disease.  He could no longer take it anymore. You can imagine the grief his family feels as they grapple with why life wasn’t worth living.

Loving the least of these

Many of you know my mom. One of the things that I love about my mom and that drives me crazy about her all at the same time is her ability to meet people and love them despite their quirks and crazies. She is notorious for the most hilarious stories about co-workers and neighbors. Years ago I would have thought she was enhancing the stories but since I have seen more and more how people feel comfortable with her and pour out their lives to her within hours of meeting. No matter your past or current predicament, she is a willing ear and on standby to make a meal, pay a visit, or drive you to the doctor. She loses sleep over her friends lives. As a pastors wife you would have expected her to befriend the women with the neatly pressed dresses and lives that seemed to be full of grace and patience but she has always befriended those that most desperately needed a friend.   And she enjoyed them for their quirkiness and helped them through dealing with their past of abuse, broken marriages, the birth of children, the loss of children, the death of aging parents, and even their own death.

I think specifically of her friend Chris. She was a character if I have ever known one. She had wiry red hair, a raspy smokers voice and was a spit fire if there ever was one. She talked loudly and was in everyone’s business. She worked at the school with my mom and was diagnosed with a rare degenerative muscle disorder. She went from being a lively, feisty lady working with special needs kids to losing her ability to care for herself. My mom faithfully drove to her home to lift her into her car to take her to church. For years. Chris had been through a couple of marriages and much heart ache in her life. My mom loved her through it.

I know this co-worker was no different for my mom. He sounded like a mess. She listened to his stories about the Parkinson’s deteriorating his memory and his dreams to retire that could not be fulfilled because he would have to live with his son due to his increasing caretaker needs. In the end he made up stories of going off to see a relative across the country who needed a kidney. He talked of donating one because he knew his body wasn’t going to need it much longer.  In reality he was building a plan to take his own life.

The truth is I find myself being more and more like my mom as I get older. I would much prefer for people to be real with me and to see who they really are than to have people feel like they need to impress me. I want to be my imperfect self and not feel the need to hide the rough around the edges parts.  I find that friendships are emotional and often inconvenient if you do them well. Rewarding and fulfilling as well but they take great effort!

I am so sad for my mom’s loss of a friend and co-worker.  And I am so sad to hear of yet another person who’s life wasn’t worth living. But I know that in his final days my mom was someone that showed him an example of Christ’s love and spoke honest truth into his life.  Loving the least of these isn’t about just feeding the hungry and taking in orphans. It’s about being kind and accepting of those people in our lives that don’t always have it together or don’t always believe the same way we do or live their lives like we do. It’s living our lives with hope and sharing it with the hopeless.

The week before last we had visitors and Jackson and Owen both seemed to be coming down with something. Owen woke up from a nap with a fever and was generally miserable. He started waking up each hour in the night and carried on for 4 straight nights. It was very reminiscent of when he had the double ear infection he had in December.  We talked to our pediatrician but the office was closed from Thurs through Monday so we had to wait it out over the weekend. They told us to take Owen to the ER if we felt he wasn’t improving. In the midst of Owen feeling miserable Jackson heard us analyzing and wondering about Owen’s ears. About the time on Saturday morning that Seth had to take Owen to the ER, because he still had a high fever and was in pain, Jackson started talking about having a sore ear himself. Looking back I feel horrible but at the time it seemed obvious that he was just trying to get in on the attention and he was very disappointed to not be going to the hospital himself. (Although his interest in going waned when I told him Owen wasn’t going in an ambulance and it wasn’t an emergency). By the middle of the weekend Seth touched Jackson’s ear and he erupted in wails. By Tues morning when we got into the doctor Owen’s ears were just fine and Jackson was the one with a fiery ear infection. And on top of the infection he had so much blockage in his ears that we will be going back tomorrow for the doctor to remove all of the junk. I can tell you I am not looking forward to that!

Back to the title “treasure”. At the end of Jackson’s checkup he got to pick something from the prize bin. I usually try to give guidance but this time I was bundling Owen and trying to hurry Jackson out the door for lunch.  He was lingering over the prize bin, slowly and carefully digging through, picking what he found to be the most valuable treasure. I didn’t want to minimize his excitement (or tell him I would likely toss it in a few days) but we had to get going because of teethy fussy babe was biting my shoulder to get out of there. When we were halfway out the door I asked what he chose. A gaudy, gold ring with a heart-shaped red gem. He beamed as he talked about it and put it on his thumb. He said, “mom, in the morning when you say “put your socks on and put on your clothes ” , you can also say, “Put on your ring, Jackson” “. He wore it for the remaining hour until nap and asked if he could sleep with it.  I agreed but only if he laid it on his pillow, I didn’t want him to wear it and scratch his face.   After nap he walked upstairs to find me and again had that beaming grin as he slid it back on his thumb and said “mom, I’m wearing my ring”. He looked at it off and on to make sure it was still there and at one point realized that the gem had fallen out. He retraced his steps but much to his dismay he could not find the precious stone. He finally decided he could still wear it without the red bling.

Since last week we have lost and found the ring a zillion times. As I swept on Saturday I was about to shake out the dust pan when I glanced down and a dot of red-bling caught my eye. It would have been easier to just let it go out with the dust. It is a pain to continue the hunt for a toy that is dangerous for Owen and quite honestly hideous…and made for a little girl. But, I stopped myself and called to Jackson. He was thrilled to see my discovery! “Mom, you solved the mystery”

Wait, stop. This momma isn’t gonna buy anything. or at least not a string of things to keep you feeling happy if one thing breaks.

We have sung this song a zillion times with our boys. Well, mainly with Jackson when he was younger. But sometime around the time that Jackson hit his toddler prime I became very disenchanted with it. He was totally self-absorbed, as he should have been as a 2 something and spent every ounce of his energy to get what he wanted. And somehow, at some point I sang that song and it hit me that I was feeding him a message I wasn’t sure I wanted him to have. Don’t worry if this doesn’t work because we will buy you something else, and if that doesn’t work, don’t worry…we will just find something better. The other message is if you are quiet I will get you what you want.

Now just to clarify, I am not against a good bribe. There are times and places when bribes are a NECESSITY. You may not agree and that is okay. But I find there are times when a distraction, i.e. a piece of candy or something unexpected, can be both pacifying and motivating. And yes, at least in our home there are times when certain members of the family need encouragement to be quiet or motivated to obedience, whichever the case may be.

The truth is we do love to give our children gifts. And gifts are fun and satisfying. But they aren’t going to fulfill us. There is comfort for a child in knowing that their parents can provide for them. But I think we are doing our children a disservice if we let them think we can fix anything and provide everything.  Because the truth is we can’t. And I am sort of a perfectionist so this is hard to say. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind my kids being proud of their mom and thinking she is superwoman…but I am not. As Jackson has grown I have been talking to him about how the things we have are blessings. I don’t hesitate to say, Daddy has been working extra hard at work to make money for us to use and we have decided we will use some of our money to buy such and such. I don’t want him to think he can get anything he wants. Sure I want him to be happy and as a parent I do want to give him things he will enjoy but that doesn’t always mean it’s the best thing for him. I want him to see a correlation between work and earning, and I want him to see the joy in unexpected blessings.

And if you sing this song, sing away. But for now while my kids are in the “me”, “mine”, “all my own”, “more”, “it’s just not fair” phase of life I think I am going to look for some other tunes! Because this momma is too tired to go hunting for a mocking bird that sings, shiny diamond ring, a looking glass, a billy goat and a horse and cart.