Today a princess was born!  Not with royal blood but equally celebrated

MaryAnne was born via c-section at 12:04 pm at Fair Oaks Hospital, November 13th. She weighed in at 9 lbs 11 oz and 22 3/4 inches long! She is long and lean like her brother Jackson but looks a whole lot like her brother Owen at birth! She has light brown hair and fair skin. We are so smitten. She was so worth the wait.

I will attempt to get on soon to tell more about leading up to her birth and more about her but for now here are some photos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many more pictures to come….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So a few months back I found myself about to click buy for a conference ticket to Allume in late Oct.  I have been waiting for ages to go to a blogging conference but always seemed to have the thought of being pregnant or having a newborn that kept me from committing. I emailed a blog friend in Maine and was waiting to hear back from her before making the big purchase.  I also found myself sitting with Seth and him talking to me about where he felt like God might be leading our family…down the road of adoption. In a sort of sense we were moving on from dreaming of having another biological child and we were getting set for the next phase. I interviewed for jobs and got offers, knowing that while the money will help in our current situation, it would most certainly be critical in the event of adoption. I watched as the boys seemed to grow up faster before my eyes. And I grappled with if this adoption thing wasn’t for us, at what point would I feel peaceful about this being our complete family.  We are blessed abundantly and no doubt a feeling our our family being complete is not something I could not come to, but there was something inside of both Seth and I that felt certain our family was not complete. So my prayer was to feel some kind of sense of clarity along the way.

Seth called Fairfax County and learned that they have a once a month seminar to educate families on local adoption. We marked our calendars and moved towards it. And gradually as we approached it we both began to process what it would look like for us…and we began to be excited. And cautious.

We had hoped and prayed for another baby and three times we had our hopes raised, visions of a little person to be a part of us and then we grieved as we lost them.  We had come to the decision in early March that we needed to be done analyzing and trying for another biological child knowing that God had clearly shown us 3 times that this wasn’t the plan.

Or so we thought.

The day before the adoption seminar we learned that I was pregnant. A faded pink line gave us cause for cautious optimism and had us holding our breath for yet another loss.  I got in for an appointment at 6 weeks but because I was a new patient they didn’t do a full OB appt. They did a blood test that confirmed that HCG levels were good. At nearly 10 weeks we went in for a sonogram and were greeted with this healthy, happy, sweet boy or girl. Waving and wiggling around. Heart beating strong and hopeful…lessening some of our fears at the very sight of it beating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So about the time of morning (all day) sickness kicked into his gear I was supposed to report to my new job!  And it seemed the less I could manage the more the boys needed! We have gotten through the last weeks. I am now nearly 15 weeks along and starting to feel much better as the weeks go on. Somehow I have managed to get into a new routine with work and have miraculously not gotten sick on any patients.

At nearly 12 weeks we told the boys! And were they ever surprised. When asked if Owen wanted a sibling or a puppy, he said puppy. We were worried how he would  respond but he has been so excited.  Jackson had prayed for a sibling so instantly announced that his prayers had been answered. Most mornings he finds his way up to our room and asks if he can say good morning to the baby. His face lights up and he brings his questions. Both boys finish every conversation about the baby with something along the lines of “I just can’t wait this long to meet our baby”. Their child-like anticipation isn’t full of caution and concern, their eyes are bright and confident when they talk about “their baby”.  And it has brought us so much joy to watch them.

While many parts of this don’t feel real yet we are hopeful for a healthy baby and anticipating the changes that will come in our family come early November. Unlike my pregnancies with the boys I now have 2 big boys who will serve as the peanut gallery to comment on each inch of growth along the way! They daily watch me to see if things have changed. A few days into the watch they realized this is going to be a sllllloooow process.

So, all this to say…this my friends is why this poor blog space has been dropped for so many weeks on end. As I feel better I hope to get back on here and share other parts of life. We are making progress with our growing garden, the boys are eating us out of house and home and we are knee deep in soccer and end of school activities.

More to come…

 

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sorry for those of you who won’t be so interested in this….it’s probably funny for everyone but especially for moms in this competitive age of mothering! Someone read it at our Mothers of Preschoolers meeting last Friday and I thought it was great. I often tell Seth about the pressures related to feeding our kids and preschool choice, etc but this sums it up much better than I do! Enjoy!

Excerpt from Out Of The Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load: A (Fairly Lame) Ode to Mothers

An ode to the marvelous woman called “Mother”
Though not one of us is exactly like another.
From the second we’re born to the minute we die
Our preferences are as limitless as stars in the sky.

We might have been perfectly gracious before
But childbirth entered us in the Mommy War.
Rather than letting everyone else be
We criticize parenting that isn’t exactly like . . . me.

So once and for all let me put this to rest
None of us owns the title of “best.”
Natural childbirth does not make you a hippy
Epidurals are not just for women who want to feel trippy.

In a bathtub with a doula or in a hospital bed
We all got a baby with limbs and a head.
Nursing is great if nothing goes wrong
But some nipples turn inward and refuse to play along.

This is a choice for each mom–it’s her route
So it’s just A + B and everyone else can C their way out.
Schedules and timers do not make you cruel
Feeding on demand does not make you a fool.

In the nursery with a monitor or in the family bed
Every chick gets to pick where her baby lays his head.
If I see one more mom roll her eyes at “organic . . .”
“Partially hydrogenated” throws some of us into panic.

But neither judge Sonic burgers and fries
Some of us just want to enjoy food before we die.
Preschool, home school, public, or Montessori
Listen, my friends, and I’ll tell you a story:

Two moms differed on favorite school trends
Their kids turned out pretty much the same. The end.
If a girl gets the title of “mom” accidentally
The worst thing we can do is treat her judgmentally.

How about some love, some help, some advice?
She needs our love and we shouldn’t think twice.
Discipline through various methods will prevail
Look, we’re all just trying to keep our kids out of jail.

These things are just preferences, not right or wrong
What matters more is teaching our kids to get along–
To love and to share, to speak gently and kind,
To obey so that mom won’t go out of her mind.

Showing them Jesus is our common ground
Teaching them how he can always be found.
He’s present in public school and Waldorf (so trendy)
He’s over at Whole Foods but also at Wendy’s.

Jesus never cared about these sorts of things
It’s our hearts that he wants and the worship we bring.
It’s time for us moms to declare a truce
Regardless if we buy Capri Sun or 100 percent juice.

My way is not your way, and your way isn’t mine
But both of our kids will turn out just fine.
Rather than judging and looking down our noses
Let’s enjoy the common ground motherhood poses.

As believers, we all love the same good Lord
We all have children who tell us “I’m bored.”
We all need more sleep than these tiny five hours
Most of us struggle to find time for a shower.

We haven’t been to the bathroom alone in an age
Our mothers have all told us, “Relax, this is just a stage.”
We all love our babies so much we could die
We’d take a bullet for each one without batting an eye.

Though we are different, we’re in the same tribe
Motherhood requires a similar vibe–
Love and affection, sacrifice and grace
Laughter, which keeps the whole mechanism in place.

Though different, by the grace of God, I suspect:
ALL our children will rise up and call us … collect.

She looks well to how things go in her household… Her children rise up and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:27-28

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On this rather gloomy afternoon in Northern Virginia the house is slowly winding down for nap and both little birds are back in the nest. I have never been so thankful for the shorter day of school on a Monday. My lips are chapped from nervously licking them all morning. Did I think Jackson was going to go to school and there would be another shooting?! No. I didn’t. But I hated to let him go. He didn’t have a clue that I came home  from school drop off and stormed through the house cleaning like a mad woman to keep this momma brain occupied on something other than the possibilities.  He hurried into school excitedly and exited with pride in his accomplishments and excited chatter about gingerbread houses.

I remember when the oncologist gave us Jackson’s diagnosis, along with hours of information much of which left us with a very dark prognosis and much heartache. On the way home that first day from the medical center I said something along the lines of “why on earth would God give us this precious gift and then take him away from us?” I came to that scenario with a good bit of faith and yet it shook me, and if I’m honest it continues to. I can’t imagine the tremors going on in the lives of those that are living lives in homes that lack a person they love. I can’t go to Target alone without pushing the automatic door button for their door because the boys are so much a part of my life. I can’t imagine opening the fridge and seeing that child’s favorite food waiting, but never to be eaten. Or trying to come back to life while processing such grief and opening the washing machine to see the child or family members clothes, worn the day before when life seemed so normal. They will never be the same.  Why, Lord? Why? I know we live in a fallen world but oh how we long for it to be different.

As the world continues to spin conversations about gun control, homeschooling, mental health it is easy to get caught up in it all.  This world is a scary place. Our love of privacy and self sufficiency is back-firing. We think we can cuddle up in our private homes with our problems and deal with them on our own. We selfishly think it’s better to protect our pride and family name than it is to share what life looks like inside the walls.  Somehow we think it’s all about us and we don’t realize how much our secrets and sins affect the lives of others. We close the windows when our child screams in a tantrum, we smile and straighten the kids clothes as we enter church trying to not look phased about the argument we had on the way, we try to compare ourselves and encourage ourselves that what we deal with just isn’t so bad. At least I do. I might not be able to change gun laws, home school my kids, or revolutionize our countries mental health system but I can continue to work here in this space and through my family to share our lives and to be real. To share the hope we have in Christ. I can see hurting people and actually take the time to listen when I pass by and ask how they are. I can ask deeper questions and I can allow life to be more inconvenient if it means going deeper and building relationships that can be safety nets in crisis.

This morning I woke up and just knew I would struggle with fear. Somewhere during the time when I was loading the kids into the car for the ride to school a song from my childhood came to my mind. One that I had not heard or song in probably 25 yrs. The words were from the Bible, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go.” He expects us to go, not to hunker down at home. I normally pray for the boys on the way to school but today I taught them this song.  If my kids have to live in this dark world I want them to know the truth of the hope. When they face times in their lives I want them to have words that come to mind that remind them of the truths we have.  I am so thankful for that song that I buried long ago.

I don’t know about you but I struggle to feel merry and bright in this time when our country grieves. I have felt guilty being excited about a date night tonight for our anniversary or for reviewing the list again for our birthday and Christmas festivities that approach.  I feel sad. Yet there is so much to be thankful for and to celebrate. In our society 7 yrs of marriage is a darn good accomplishment and turning 3 is nothing short of a miracle with a brother with 2 casts. So this week although I continue to pray and grieve with the families who have lost their beloved ones in Connecticut, I also know I need to savor this season.  Tears, chapped lips and all. We can’t seize every moment and make every moment a hallmark one, but we can be present. We can sit with grief and embrace joy. For each day is a gift.

 

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