My sister-in-law sent me a link to a blog yesterday. It was a blog of a mom from Vienna where we used to live. Her son died in the flooding last week. One day she was posting pictures of her two children starting school together and a few days later she wrote what she had spoken at his funeral.  She was strong and candid and honest. It could only be God’s grace that is carrying her through this horrific time.

Today my mind is so full. We are awaiting results of tests run on a family member, recovery of another family member, reconciliation of others, and possible job loss for yet another.  All of these things seem big to me today and if I am honest my heart feels heavy, yet they seem so small in the midst of pondering this mom that has lost her boy.

We all know that life is too short and we all know that we should savor every moment. But why do I need reminders like this to jolt me back to the reality of our limited time together?! Clearly I need reminders. This mom spoke at her son’s funeral about the time she accidentally took him to camp on the wrong date which meant she and her son got a day and a half together that she hadn’t planned on and looking back had been such a treasure to her.  Last night we had expected to have guests around in the evening. When their day trip took longer than we expected we both jumped on the opportunity to have a family night. We got the boys out of the bath and pulled out the Hullabaloo game. For 30 minutes we were silly and laughed together.  It’s moments like these, when plans change, that I am aware of my need to snatch up those moments and savor them.

Today will be filled with wiping drippy noses, coaxing resistant yet tired boys into naps, and a blend of “hurry up Owen” and “slow down, Jackson”. The day will be full and I am positive by the end of it I will be tired. But hopefully I will have eyes to see and ears to hear all that has been given to us today.  All of those moments that were ordained before I could even make a silly plan.  I am currently reading “A Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are” by Ann Voskamp. I highly recommend it. It comes in such a timely manner when I need so desperately to be jolted into the reality of being thankful for all of those little things…even when there are big, tough things.

As my sister-in-law said in her email, “hug your kids tighter”.   Definitely hugging tighter and when I do throughout today I will be praying for this sweet mom who grieves her loss.

these are some of the things I am savoring today…

little boy wanting to be a little “big” boy

brothers learning to be brothers (Jackson had a rope tied to his jeans and was getting Owen to pull him out of the tree, Owen gladly stepped in)

tom sawyer

A couple of weeks ago I was reading a blog and the blogger was discussing a passage that I really liked and wanted to memorize. I jotted it down and put it in the kitchen because that is really where we spend lots of our time.  I made a point of reading it when I was cooking dinner or cleaning up the dishes. It slowly became less coherent but in the beginning it was still readable with the water drops. Until one day I looked over for the verse and this is what I found.

The passage was  Psalm 92:1-2

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High;
2 to declare your steadfast love in the morning,
and your faithfulness by night.

I first read it on Emily Freeman’s blog….here is the post if you are interested. She hashed it out in a series a few weeks ago. Enjoy. I love how she goes through “steadfast love in the morning” and “faithfulness at night”. I can especially relate to the need to declare God’s faithfulness at night. After long days in this season of motherhood with toddlers I need to be reminded that God is faithful to me and will equip me for another day.

Back to my washed out, mangled paper. I feel like sometimes this is an accurate view of my spiritual life at this point in my life. As a wife and a mom I find myself struggling to find time to be quiet, by myself, let alone quiet time to read and think about the truths of the Bible. I remember after getting married I had to shift expectations of what my Christian walk would look like. As individual as it had been before it now included someone else. And likewise with the addition of each of our boys my time has been whittled down and what I am left with is often feels like a washed out version of what I previously clung to.  In the midst of the hustle and bustle I am saying a prayer here and jotting down a verse there.  I am sneaking moments when the house is quiet to read books and trying to equip myself for guiding our children in their faith. I find I have to create a new normal. I can’t be frustrated that I don’t have the time I had before. I need to embrace the new phase.   I want to be aware of God’s presence in our lives and I want to know the peace and patience that only He can bring.

I am thinking next time I will work harder to memorize! That way when the waters come I can remember the promises!

…he wouldn’t likely walk again.

…he wouldn’t live through the year.

…he wouldn’t be able to have kids and would have heart failure if he had radiation.

…he might have to have his leg amputated.

But God had different plans for this little boy.

He now runs, jumps, kicks, walks, skips and talks non-stop!!

He is healthy and happy and full of energy.

On May 1st our family took time to remember our story and thank God for his blessing of Jackson’s life.  If you are new to our blog and don’t know Jackson’s story you can look back here.

We know that not every family gets this end result. If you want to learn more about Rhabdomyosarcoma and MD Anderson Cancer Center click here.

Thank you to our family and friends for your support back then and for your continued rejoicing with us now! Some may think we talk about it too much but it is such a good reminder for us to have faith and remember that God is carrying us through sickness and health.

After our Heidelburg adventure the Friday before we tried to go into Easter weekend with the mindset of LOW KEY! The only plans we had as of Friday morning were that we had invited over 2 couples from church for a casual Brunch on Easter morning.

On Good Friday we took a long walk by the river and talked to Jackson more about the meaning of Easter and specifically Good Friday. We had been reading to him in the weeks leading up to it but it was neat for it to be the real day.  While we were skipping rocks by the river Jackson and I found a rock with lines on it that looked like a cross. He held onto it and thought it was so neat since we were talking about the cross.  If I can get him to help me find it I will post a picture.

We colored eggs together and just enjoyed a quiet day at home.

On Saturday some friends invited us to go on the boat on lake Thun. It was a nice unexpected outing. It was a gorgeous ride. The first half we had glorious sun and the second half we got to watch as a storm rolled in. We got off the boat just as the rain got going. The boys had a wonderful time! I think I had expected the boys to be content to watch the water and look out over the side of the boat..for at least a few minutes. After about 10 minutes they were both ready to run laps around the boat deck. So it goes. About halfway through we gave in and bought them ice cream so that we could all sit for at least 10 mins and enjoy the scenery!

handsome “little BIG boy”

our friends Karen and Andy brought their dog Bella. She and Jackson kept each other company throughout the boat trip. Check out the color of the water!

this may become Seth and I someday if we never have a daughter! This was for real! This dog belongs in Paris!

The Easter bunny did make it to our house in Bern. He brought us a basket for all of us to share. He seemed to focus less on candy this year and more on Spring activities. The basket had a new ball, jump rope, a kite and a bubble tumbler! (since the boys are learning to share (ie fighting over toys constantly) we decided to do a joint basket to reinforce this)

Karen brought a fruit salad…almost too pretty to eat!

the guys showing Jackson how to play an egg knocking game

Jackson happily joined in

We kept the menu simple with my mom’s sausage egg bake, fruit salad, rosti (Swiss hashbrown-type dish) and bread with some berry whipped butter. We finished it off with mini cheesecakes!  I got away with only making the egg bake, whipped butter and the cheesecakes!

Monday we really did nothing but take a long walk together and laze around the house.