This morning was the perfect Spring morning. The sun was streaming in the kitchen windows and the house was relatively quiet except for the hum of the load of laundry I had just dutifully started. Owen was down for his morning nap and Jackson was cheerfully waiting to bake cookies with me. I told him after his morning cartoon he and I could make some Easter cookies.  The kitchen was sparkling and smelled of lavender from the homemade cleaner I had tried. I did some Spring cleaning yesterday. Anyone that has been to my house knows that I love to cook and that I don’t so much enjoy or stay on top of  the aftermath. So, this is a RARE morning with a super clean kitchen at our house.

Jackson and I got to work. This recipe calls for lemon zest so I asked Jackson to go on the hunt for the zester. He didn’t know what it was so I described what it looked like and let him look for it in our utensil drawer. I measured the dry ingredients while he hunted…this is a trick I have learned. Send him on a hunt and get some of the messy stuff done while he’s gone. We mixed up our dough, rolled it out just right and cut out the most clean cut bunnies, carrots and flowers.

Now to the real story..The kitchen was sparkling clean but ONLY because I cleaned yesterday. And in the case when you are about to bake with a preschooler it really isn’t ideal to have just cleaned the kitchen! Owen was napping, but only because I had gotten him back to sleep after Jackson woke him up. Jackson woke him up because he ran down in a panic to confess he had gotten too busy and had had a potty accident upstairs.  And our baking didn’t go that smoothly or neatly because, well, it just doesn’t when baking with a little one.

About once a month I get inspired to bake with Jackson. Or let him help me with dinner. I know it’s good for him to learn new things and I know he is old enough to be involved. It all sounds good and developmentally appropriate until we get going. My blood pressure instantly rises and I find myself having to monitor my tone of voice. He drives me crazy in the kitchen. He enthusiastically grabs the spoon from the first bowl, consequently tossing out some of the flour, when I lunged for the spoon before more damage is done he is not disheartened for he is already reaching for an egg. When the egg gets rescued safely from his hands he pushes his finger into the stick of softened butter to see how soft it feels.  Is he doing anything wrong? Nope. Is he listening to my many instructions? nope, not really, but not purposely. He is so excited to be with me and to be learning something new that he cannot control his enthusiasm. And the final product, well, they weren’t clean cut outs like I was dreaming about previously, they were lopsided bunnies and flowers with broken petals.

This morning as Jackson and I baked I had to remind myself why we were baking cookies.  It was so humbling.  I don’t like my impatience and how I get after him for things that really aren’t wrong. I don’t like how I want him to do it my way and I like for the end product to look nice. It isn’t always about that.  He is proud of his work and he is so pleased with the cookies that resulted in the end. Now that the kitchen is re-cleaned and my blood pressure has returned to it’s normal high I can stand back and see that it was a worthy exercise for both of us. Jackson enjoyed himself and it was yet another learning experience for both of us. At naptime today he said “mom, when I am bigger maybe I will get to zest all by myself”.

Friday is Easter egg coloring day! Sheesh, how did we end up with 2 of these projects in one week. Maybe Friday I will catch myself before the dye starts dripping and the eggs start cracking. these years are going far too fast. I want to learn to enjoy it better.

For those of you that would like a good sugar cookie recipe I came across this one in Southern Living at Valentine’s 2 years ago. Like I mentioned, it calls for lemon zest which I think makes them extra fresh and reminds me of this time of year. Here’s the link…Lemon Butter Cookies  .     Sorry I don’t have any links for how to bake patiently with your enthusiastic preschooler. That is a trial and error kind of thing.

It’s with a heavy heart that I write this morning. Yesterday a co-worker of my mom’s took his life. In the past year he had lost multiple family members of his own and was fighting his own battle with aggressive Parkinson’s disease.  He could no longer take it anymore. You can imagine the grief his family feels as they grapple with why life wasn’t worth living.

Loving the least of these

Many of you know my mom. One of the things that I love about my mom and that drives me crazy about her all at the same time is her ability to meet people and love them despite their quirks and crazies. She is notorious for the most hilarious stories about co-workers and neighbors. Years ago I would have thought she was enhancing the stories but since I have seen more and more how people feel comfortable with her and pour out their lives to her within hours of meeting. No matter your past or current predicament, she is a willing ear and on standby to make a meal, pay a visit, or drive you to the doctor. She loses sleep over her friends lives. As a pastors wife you would have expected her to befriend the women with the neatly pressed dresses and lives that seemed to be full of grace and patience but she has always befriended those that most desperately needed a friend.   And she enjoyed them for their quirkiness and helped them through dealing with their past of abuse, broken marriages, the birth of children, the loss of children, the death of aging parents, and even their own death.

I think specifically of her friend Chris. She was a character if I have ever known one. She had wiry red hair, a raspy smokers voice and was a spit fire if there ever was one. She talked loudly and was in everyone’s business. She worked at the school with my mom and was diagnosed with a rare degenerative muscle disorder. She went from being a lively, feisty lady working with special needs kids to losing her ability to care for herself. My mom faithfully drove to her home to lift her into her car to take her to church. For years. Chris had been through a couple of marriages and much heart ache in her life. My mom loved her through it.

I know this co-worker was no different for my mom. He sounded like a mess. She listened to his stories about the Parkinson’s deteriorating his memory and his dreams to retire that could not be fulfilled because he would have to live with his son due to his increasing caretaker needs. In the end he made up stories of going off to see a relative across the country who needed a kidney. He talked of donating one because he knew his body wasn’t going to need it much longer.  In reality he was building a plan to take his own life.

The truth is I find myself being more and more like my mom as I get older. I would much prefer for people to be real with me and to see who they really are than to have people feel like they need to impress me. I want to be my imperfect self and not feel the need to hide the rough around the edges parts.  I find that friendships are emotional and often inconvenient if you do them well. Rewarding and fulfilling as well but they take great effort!

I am so sad for my mom’s loss of a friend and co-worker.  And I am so sad to hear of yet another person who’s life wasn’t worth living. But I know that in his final days my mom was someone that showed him an example of Christ’s love and spoke honest truth into his life.  Loving the least of these isn’t about just feeding the hungry and taking in orphans. It’s about being kind and accepting of those people in our lives that don’t always have it together or don’t always believe the same way we do or live their lives like we do. It’s living our lives with hope and sharing it with the hopeless.

Since it’s been so long since you have heard from him I better reintroduce him. Our guest writer today is Seth. You know, my husband and former co-author of this blog. So glad he came back to be a contributor. He did the tough task of digging up some of the videos we have gotten of Owen over the last yr plus. These don’t include him walking and the most recent ones but you can at least catch up a bit. We have also been having a hard time getting our camera to focus with video so excuse the blurriness.

It’s been a while since we posted any videos of the boys.  And way too long since there were any of Owen.  So here are some starting from when he was a newborn.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKKCTeaBYqM]

This is of Jackson meeting Owen for the first time.  You could already tell they were going to be best friends.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s22yZ2KNSZQ]

Owen talking to himself.  We should have known from this that he was going to be a talker!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otzuybpXO8Y]

Owen taking a bath.  He still loves being in the bath with his brother.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l1YWDN46-8]

Owen enjoying some tickle time.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZNzHtZsbDg]

Nama and Owen having fun.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDUCYtOC4wE]

Daddy and Owen laughing together.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWCT–OstBo]

Owen having one of his first snow experiences.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx13kZAYA7Q]

Owen’s first birthday!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtq-ILFXVKs]

Owen singing “Rock, Rock, Rock Your Boat {If you see a crocodile, don’t forge to scream!}

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnARhGmkH_I]

Owen imitating faces and learning to give kisses.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfJxnkCfLbE]

Some of Owen’s first words/signs

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sF5BaWeNXU]

Owen and Daddy wrestling

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDPDm_vad7Q]

Jackson making his brother laugh

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj75fACM8iI]

Owen starting to cruise.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wngLWMxuqk4]

Owen playing with his highchair toy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWzpGkhFVwM]

Owen’s infectious laugh.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FVbRb4oSeg]

Owen army crawling.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdBERYkpvdY]

Owen walking with his push toy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfAFO9jHupI]

Jackson encouraging Owen in walking.

I have pictures to share from our fun visit with Bonnie but have to add this post quickly while I have time.

It seems like we have people looking through our blog for pictures of our boys, particularly the one of the boys in tights that we posted a couple months back. We have since removed the post. It is so disturbing to me that our world has gotten so sick. So sick that people are so desperately looking for any image of kids that might give them a high. Our blog is a family blog, for our family and friends that live far away and don’t get to see our boys on a regular basis. I am aware that the blog world is public and that I have an option to make this password protected, but that just seems so ridiculous to me. Part of why I blog is to get out of the private life mentality and to be real about our daily lives.

So, if you are one of the sick people who happened upon our blog for the wrong reasons and happen to be reading this, please stop stalking our blog. Get help for yourself.  I promise you that your secret computer life will not bring you satisfaction or contentment.